man, i should do more of these, i watch a shitload of movies.
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you don’t mess with the zohan: funny. well, half funny. adam sandler’s getting very formulaic now: funny movie, rob schneider in it in some fashion (he is an awful actor, stop fucking giving him work.), cutesy ending where everything is a-okay. the first half was actually really good, pretty funny. i was laughing. but then the plot actually came back into it and it turned into a huge “ugh god just end the movie already.” festival. i wasn’t expecting punch drunk love, but shit, enough with the same old crap.
5/10 - half of a good score for half of a good movie.
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harold and kumar escape from guantanamo bay: neil patrick harris makes this movie. i couldn’t give a flying fuck about the other two. it’s funny to see the situations they get into, but they were going after some girls that, again, i couldn’t give a fuck about. this is a turn your brain off movie, i know, and maybe if i smoked pot i’d get it. i’ve done my share, but maybe you have to be on it to really laugh.
3/10 - i’d go out with neil patrick harris, no shit. all three points are for him.
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king of california: now this is the kind of movie you’d expect me to watch. michael douglas pulls off batshit insane perfectly. really fits in the dramedy kind of field, as it has its funny parts, it’s also that awkward funny. not as bad as curb your enthusiasm or anything, just barely. i’m torn between really wanting to have a resolution at the ending and leaving it up to my own brain to dwell on as to what really happened. i like resolution, and this just barely gave me enough to go on.
8/10 - i’m gonna go dig under sam’s club for shits and giggles.
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in bruges: another ‘my’ kind of movie like the above. and another dramedy. god, i hate that word. from now on it’s drama/comedy. anyway. this was a tough movie to watch, especially near the end. it’s the kind of grit-your-teeth ending. not an action movie, though. also, midgets are hilarious. there goes my credibility as a real reviewer.
7/10 - ralph fiennes is still dreamy. also, “back off, shorty!”
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the onion movie: holy shit, this was AWESOME. a bit late in its delivery of most of its ‘current event’ jokes, but blame that on the studio that held it back, then sent it direct to video. in any case, knowing the real outcome of the situations that spawned these jokes really only help to further the comedy. the fact that steven seagal can poke fun at himself makes it even more enjoyable. it’s not perfect, far from it, but it was funny, and while it may not be as dry and witty as the onion usually is, i’m sure they had to dumb it down to appeal to (what they thought was) a movie theater audience.
8.5/10 - “i don’t think you’ve got the BALLS.”
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these reviews were pretty weak. they probably all are. but it’s writing, and i love doing that.
